For some people, it takes forever to find someone. To find that connection.
Heart on my Sleeve.
I’d like to say I’ve always gravitated towards interesting people. (This is not to say that everyone else is boring hahahaha) I find so much sincerity in what they do. They’re just so..real. Many times I end up appreciating them from afar. Not because I’m intimidated or shy to talk with them, but simply because I have nothing to say.
It’s actually very easy for me to talk with random people, as long as I know what to say or what we’re talking about. Many times I’ve been told that I sound too nice. I should get some balls. I should demand more. I should straighten my tone. I should develop a poker face. I can’t sound like I’m begging or asking for favors or what. Then, when I do get serious, I’m asked if I have problems, if I need a break or if I’m feeling sick. I’ve heard people say that I have attitude problems or that I feel entitled.
What the f*%$#^& hell. I tell you this - I will act entitled if I know I f%#@$&* deserve respect. Or because I worked hard for it. On my own.
I’ve always been told never to be vulnerable. Control my emotions. Master the art of not caring. Sensitivity is linked with femininity. Emotion is equated to weakness. If it ever became your strength, it was probably because you’ve mastered the art of manipulation - appealing to pity and sentimentality to your advantage.
I understand that there will always be people who won’t appreciate you. You won’t ever match everyone’s standards. I get that. What I don’t get is that liars end up more appreciated than honest people.
This is a rant. Although I do not want to sound abrasive, I can’t just not do anything about this anymore.
HELLO YOU. THE REASON I AM NOT FLUFFY AND LIGHTHEADED WITH YOU IS BECAUSE I KNOW YOU ARE NOT A NICE PERSON. YOU ARE ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE WHO KILL MY LIGHT AND ENERGY EVEN DURING MY HAPPIEST DAYS BECAUSE I KNOW YOU HAVE VESTED INTERESTS, YOU STEP ON PEOPLE AND YOU FAKE FRIENDSHIPS. I HOPE YOU FIND HAPPINESS IN DOING WHAT YOU DO, IN ALL THE PEOPLE YOU FIND ATTENTION IN, IN CLAIMING IDEAS AS YOUR OWN AND IN PRAISING YOUR OWN ACCOMPLISHMENTS. I HOPE YOU GET EVERYTHING YOU WANT AND WORKED SO HARD FOR.
You know I’m not like you and you’ll never be like me. I know what you said and continue to say about me. I do not want to change you. I wish you real happiness because real happiness is infectious. I would like my tumblr to remain positive. Thank you very much.